( Birds chirping )
( Machinery softly rattling )
( Train horn blows )
( People gasping, murmuring )
( Rumbling )
( Onlookers yell )
♪
( Woman vocalizing )
( Vocalizing ends )
( Monster growls )
( Alarms blaring )
Man: It's closing in!
Man #2: Damn! So who's available?
Woman: We have confirmation that lightning Max
and smile man are on their way!
Man #1: Get me that threat level assessment!
Reporter: As you can see,
explosions are going off hind me!
The wake of destruction left by this monster
is at an unprecedented scale!
The heroes association is analyzing the threat level
in order to--aah!
( Static crackling )
( Music ends )
Man: Guess I'll go.
( Footsteps echoing )
♪
( Child crying )
Mommy! Daddy!
( Crying )
( Monster laughs )
Hmm?
Huh?
You're a fast one.
Who are you?
Hero: Just a guy who's a hero for fun.
Monster: You're kidding.
What kind of half-assed backstory is that?
Mine's far superior.
I was formed from the pollution man wrought upon the earth.
I am vaccine man!
The earth is a single living organism.
You filthy humans are nothing but a disease-causing bacteria
eating away at her precious life force.
In order to wipe out humanity
and the evil civilization built on her surface,
the earth, in her infinite wisdom,
has given birth to me!
You say you do this for fun?
For fun?!
How dare you confront mother earth's apostle
for such a mindless reason?!
Yet what could be expected from a hu--
( rumbling )
Hero: Not again.
All it took was one punch.
Damn it!
♪
♪ one punch!
3, 2, 1...
( Singing in Japanese )
( Stroller rattles )
( Woman screams )
( Monster laughs )
Man: A monster! Let's go!
( Footsteps )
Monster: What's this?
Are you sure you don't want to run away?
( Laughs )
( Man #2 sighs )
( Monster laughs )
Bet you're a new businessman already hating the daily grind.
I ate too much crab and turned into this, crablante!
You should be crapping in your pants right now.
Why aren't you running? ( Laughs )
Got a death wish or something?
Is that it?
Man #2: Well, not quite.
( Crablante chuckles )
Man #2: I'm no businessman.
I'm unemployed.
Right now I'm looking for a job.
I had another interview today
and got turned down big time.
Man #3: Crab guy!
Man #2: I couldn't care less about anything,
and I'm in no mood to turn tail and run
just because you're here.
( Crablante laughs )
Man #2: So what happens now, crablante?
( Crablante chuckles )
Your eyes are cold and lifeless, just the same as mine.
Since we have that in common,
i think I'll let you off the hook this time.
Besides, right now I'm out hunting different prey.
Man #2: Hmm?
Crablante: A brat with a big chin.
And when i find him, I'm gonna rip his arms off!
( Laughs )
Man: Huh?
Boy: Hmm?
♪
What are you looking at?
( Man thinking ) The big-chinned brat.
If he's caught, he's dead.
Hey, kid, were you messing with a big crab monster?
Boy: Uh...
While he was sleeping out in the park,
i drew some nipples on his chest.
♪
( Man thinking ) It's definitely him.
He has no idea what he's done.
What do i do? I could still help, but...
Boy: Huh?
Man: ...This kid's kinda weird-looking.
It's none of my business, really.
I should just walk away.
( Chuckles )
Right. I mean, who really cares, anyway?
( Crablante laughs )
Found you!
Gaah!
( Man thinking ) What the hell am i doing?
Crablante: Eh?
Man: Listen, kid! He's after you!
Now get outta here!
Don't worry about me! Just go!
Boy: But i can't.
I gotta get my soccer ball.
Man: Are you serious?!
( Crablante chuckles )
Cold eyes, what's the big idea?
Don't tell me you're gonna protect
that stinkin' big-chinned brat.
Man: Oh, come on.
You're really gonna kill this kid
over some harmless little prank?
Doesn't that seem kinda harsh?
( Crablante laughs ) Whatever.
I've killed people for a lot less.
Whoever makes fun of the way i look
pays the price, no exceptions.
By the way, that little punk
drew ridiculous nipples on my manly shell-chest
and in permanent marker!
I've got claws!
I can't even use a towel to wipe it off!
Get in my way, and I'll make sure
that job interview you blew today will be your last.
( Man chuckles )
( Laughing )
Crablante: Hmm?
Man: Man, it just came to me.
You look just like a villain
from this kid's cartoon i used to watch.
( Boy gasps ) Ahh!
Crablante: Die.
Boy: Ahh!
( Stammers )
Crablante: Hmm?
Man: Stop right there.
If i watch you kill a kid right in front of me,
I'll have nightmares.
You know what?
When i was a little boy, i wanted to be a hero,
not some damn businessman, but a superhero
who could send rotten villains like you flying with one punch.
Screw looking for a job.
♪
Bring it on, crab!
Crablante: Oh, a hero, huh?
Ridiculous!
You're pathetic!
You don't stand a chance against me.
Your life ends...
Now!
( Squealing )
( Man growling )
( Crablante yelling )
( Yelling stops )
( Man panting )
Has it really been three years since then?
After that day, i trained so hard i went bald
and became so powerful no one can beat me.
I'm the hero I'd always dreamed of becoming.
( Narrating ) So what is this?
- ( Woman giggles ) - Hero: What's wrong with me?
Why does my heart feel so lifeless and empty?
- Woman #2: Oh, my. - Boy: Hey, mom, who is that?
Cashier: 482 yen, please.
Hero: Sure.
Oh, hang on a sec.
- ( Rumbling ) - ( People gasping )
Hero: Here. I have the 82 yen.
Huh?
♪
( Footsteps rumbling )
Scientist: Yes!
This is incredible, little brother!
I never thought it would work so well.
( Giant thinking ) Amazing.
This power is more than i could have ever imagined.
My goal was to become the strongest man in the world,
the strongest man.
That was my dream.
( Scientist laughs )
At last, the ultimate steroid, "biceps king," is complete!
( Giant panting )
Scientist: Hey, marugori, drink this,
and you will obtain the power you've been seeking.
Marugori: What?
You sure about this?
Scientist: Indeed! I added strawberry flavoring
to make it go down easier.
Marugori: Okay.
( Yelling )
( Scientist laughs ) Yes! Wonderful!
My brains and your brawn!
By combining the greatest of minds
and the strongest of bodies this world has to offer,
the two of us will conquer the earth
and rule together as kings!
We're unstoppable!
( Marugori roars )
Scientist: Incredible.
Good! Well done!
Thousands have perished!
Now then, on to cleanse the next town as well!
Marugori: This is it.
This is what i was looking for,
to be the strongest man.
Announcer: This is an emergency evacuation warning.
A giant creature of unknown origin
- has appeared in city d. - ( Sirens blaring )
The creature is currently on a direct path towards city b.
All residents, please evacuate immediately.
I repeat, the giant creature is currently heading for...
( People scream )
Scientist: Yes. Run!
Scatter like rats!
Destroy them all!
Marugori: The strongest man.
The strongest man. The strongest man.
Scientist: So what do you think, dear brother?
Hero: Yeah, how's it feel being the strongest?
Scientist: What?! There's someone on your shoulder!
Hero: Put some pants on.
( Scientist growls )
That guy there on your shoulder, kill him!
Marugori: Brother, no!
How did this happen?!
All i wanted was to be the strongest man in the world!
And now that i finally am, i kill my own brother!
( Growls )
I don't know who you are, but this is your fault!
You're gonna pay!
( Roars )
♪
The strongest.
Behold our brotherly power!
( Panting )
I am the strongest.
But what does that matter?
I feel empty.
Hero: You get it, right?
Having overwhelming strength is pretty boring, actually.
Whoops.
Hero: There's no sign
that the evils of this world are disappearing.
That hasn't changed since before i became a hero.
So i guess that means i haven't really made any difference.
I'm not necessarily sad about that,
but there has been something bothering me lately.
As the days pass, my emotions grow more distant.
- ( Cat meows ) - Hero: Fear, tension, joy,
anger, i feel none of them anymore.
In exchange for power,
maybe I've lost something that's essential for being human.
- ( Cat yowls ) - Hero: Huh?
- ( Crashing ) - Oh?
Monster: Vroom, vroom?
( Laughs )
No sense hiding if you saw me.
I'm super custom yo649z mark 2!
I love building custom cars...
Hero: Before, I'd have all kinds of emotions
whirling inside me when i fought,
dread, panic, rage.
Super custom yo649z: If you were thinking
about getting in my way,
I'll put a spit-shine on that big headlight of yours!
( Screams )
Hero: But now all i need is one punch to end it.
Eggs over rice sounds good for dinner tonight.
♪
Every day, i come home uninjured and wash my gloves.
When I'm out fighting monsters,
i never feel as if my heart's really in it anymore.
I mean, i just do the hero thing as a hobby,
but as long as i get a kick out of it,
in the end, that's all i really care about.
( Birds chirping )
( Rumbling )
( Snores )
( Yelps )
My house.
( Monster growls )
Hero: He's tough.
Just what in the hell are you?
Monster: What are we?
That's rude. We are the true earthlings.
Hero: Did you say "we"?
Subterranean: I believe your kind call us subterraneans.
We suffer from overpopulation.
Therefore, we must claim the world aboveground.
We've learned the surface world is overpopulated, too.
This is a problem for us,
which is why we have decided to eradicate all of you.
Subterranean #2: Since we began our invasion operation,
70% of the surface dwellers have died.
This is a battle for survival.
I hope you can understand that.
Subterranean #1: However, this is unexpected.
We have encountered no surface dwellers
that our punches could not kill.
Hero: Oh, yeah? Same here.
It's been too long
since I've come across such worthy opponents,
mole men.
Subterranean #1: Hmm?
We are earthlings!
( Hero yells )
Subterranean #2: What?! But how?!
♪
Subterranean #3: Human bastard!
( Hero chuckles )
Subterranean #3: Die!
♪
( Music ends )
Subterranean #4: It's over.
Subterranean #5: What was that surface dweller?
He was so strong.
Hero: Who, me?
I'm just a guy who's a hero for fun.
♪
( Subterraneans gasp )
Hero: I never lose.
And the surface...
Is guarded by me!
Subterranean #4: Big talk for a race of vermin.
( Hero yells )
♪
What is this feeling coming over me?
This wild throbbing in my heart?
This rush? This sensation?
( Subterraneans yell )
Hero: It's been so long,
I'd forgotten the exhilaration of a real fight!
( Heart beats )
( Panting )
It's all coming back to me now.
This is it!
Subterranean #5: Well, well.
It looks like you've been taking good care
of my children, surface dweller!
Hero: This is it.
King: Let's see how you fare against the subterranean king!
Hero: This is the feeling...
I've been looking for!
( Ringing )
( Birds chirping )
( Rumbling )
Subterranean: The surface is ours, humans!
You surface dwellers must die!
I am the subterranean king!
Now prepare yourselves for the--
gaah!
♪
( Subterraneans jabber )
Hero: All right! Now bring it on!
Huh?
I've become too strong.
♪
( Singing in Japanese )
( Insects buzzing )
( Metal clanks )